Tuned Beyond Standard

Earlier today I played my guitar. As I strummed the harmonious chords¹ of multiple songs by the Red Hot Chili Peppers as well as the intricate guitar-work of Dave Mustaine and Marty Friedman. I struggled to learn to master the speed and accuracy provided in the second solo (the solo right after the acoustic solo) of Holy Wars, much like the tortoise would. After about an hour or so of practice, I gave up. So frustrated, my hand struck all the strings much like an aroused adolescent boy to his genitals. After a second or two, the second string gave and broke², snapping and curling like an old handlebar mustache.

¹ It is almost redudant to say harmonious chords, seeing as a chord by definition is a series of notes played together in harmony. It is interesting to think that a normal chord can consist of a note and its 5th's and 7th's. Yet even though in my six years of playing, I still do not know exactly what to do when somebody tells me to play an A minor 7th chord, because I have primarily thought of music in only notational letters. Only until about two years ago did I begin to even fathom the idea that music is also represented numerically. Of course there are frets and tableture that tell you how and what to play certain songs, but in this case they mean nothing. However at the time of playing, I was indeed looking at the tableture for some of the beautifully written music and chords by Mr. John Frusciante, which allows the numerical mysteries of chords to be simplified to straight-forward numerical patterns in tableture so that even the slothful hobbyist could understand.

² When a guitar string breaks it is difficult to ignore the disappointment that wells up inside. Although it is known how to change a string and it is rather simple after you have done it a few times, it is very time consuming. One must unwind the once broken string, or at times all of them for they may now be all out of tune. After slowly unwinding the strings evenly you must remove the string from the nut and out through the back of the guitar or through the tremolo (this allows you to tighten or loosen the strings by pressing down on it and can provide a quick springy vibrato) in order to dispose of it, which you better, because having lost a broken string on the floor and stepping on it myself, I know that that kind of pain is not ideal. However, once you have finally restrung and tightened all the strings evenly (in the reverse order of removing them in case you were wondering), it is hard not to caress and slide down the new strings, feeling every intricate and microscopic nickel-wound notch in the strings. The sound again resonates wonderfully, and after you hear what you have done by changing the strings, the hassle of changing the broken string is almost worth it. Almost.