Rollercoasters. Death. Contentment at last.

Hi well I just got home maybe a half an hour ago so I need to do this quickly. I have exactly 48 mins to get this posted! I apologize in advance if my writing isn't up to par with that girl, Gauri Viswanathan, from India. She nearly blew my mind!

Anyway, you asked us what is has been like so far as an English major in Eng 100...so here goes. It has been soooo weird. It seriously has been like a rollercoaster ride, except that after the first loop I died and then magically came back to life . That first reading assignment kicked my butt. It was almost like a completely different language to me. I think I wrote maybe three sentences on it expaining how I couldn't follow the material at all. It was so discouraging. I wanted to call my English teachers back at Metamora and yell "You failed me, why didn't you teach me better!" It was insane. I couldn't understand how a couple of articles in a book could make me doubt myself so much.

So lets just say that I had knots in my stomach walking to class that day. Big knots. HUGE. Amazingly though, class went well. I kept up with our discussion at least I thought. Once the reading was picked apart piece by piece I understood what it meant. It felt like my mind was cleaned of all the crap that the book had cluttered in there.

That night I came across some quotes that encouraged me more. In Falling into Theory, Eagleton writes, "English was an arena in which the most fundamental questions of human existence -what it meant to be a person, to engage in significant relationships with others, to live from the vital center of the most essential values-were thrown into vived relief and made the oject of the most intense scrutiny"(55). Those words shattered a lot of my worries and doubts about this English major crisis. I knew that this was really what English was all about; reading and writing to make yourself a better person.

So that is where I am at right now. I'm content to be an English major. Lord knows that I will have more doubts about what I really want, but for now I know I'm in this program for a reason. That reason was probably to spend $500 on English books, which my dad is still bitter about, but at least I'm in a good place now!