"To be, or not to be? "More like, how am I going to survive this class?!

For me, there was never any doubt in my mind that I would become an English major. From my very first day of first grade, my life has been about preparing for college, more specifically, an English major. Now, the question is not "to be or not to be?" but how the hell am I going to do this? I have always been told that I would be well prepared for college - I took five years of English in high school, and did well with minimal effort. However, after two weeks of college, I feel like I am completely in over my head. When I start understand more in my Spanish classes than my English classes, I know there's a problem. When I open "Falling Into Theory" , I actually WISH that it was in Spanish - at least then I'd have a legitimate excuse for not understanding the language. For me, English has always come easy and for the first time ever, I've had to work for it. However, sometimes the struggle is what makes the ending result that much more enjoyable. While “Falling Into Theory” is quite possibly the most frustrating text I have ever had to read, it is an amazing feeling to hear that even twenty percent of what I interpreted is right. It’s refreshing to be challenged in English - normally I’m just lost in the math and science courses I’m taking, and for once I can honestly say I am confused in an English class. It’s also an amazing, refreshing feeling to be sitting next to kids that are so talented and diverse in their goals within the English department. Sometimes after reading a passage in “Falling Into Theory” (nothing specific comes to mind - the whole book is unreal), I will sit there for a few minutes and just think to myself, “Wow. I didn’t understand ONE word of those twenty pages”. Then I’ll come to class and someone in the second row will have completely understood it and have such an amazing insight into it. I think that’s what makes the English department so much different than other departments. With English, there is the opportunity for so many different interpretations and it’s truly amazing to bounce ideas off of such intelligent scholars, and know that you may never know who is right.  So, while the question may  now be “how the hell am I going to do this?”,  I know that there are twenty other scholars in the same boat as me.